Of course the initial crutching and lingering hobble has caused minor alignment issues with my lower back, hips, ankles, feet, etc. And the temporary immobility has managed to transfer a good bit of body mass away from my legs and toward my mid-section. But now we begin to get into the less obvious. For example, last month I stopped shaving my legs (I began shaving both because as my wife’s sharp fashion sense noted, shaving only one looked rather strange). Now the hair on my injured leg is growing back at about twice the rate and density as the uninjured leg, leaving me to assume that there is so much regenerative biological activity going on in my recovering knee that it’s actually causing an increase in hair growth. I’ve also been sleeping on my left side almost exclusively for the vast majority of the last 130 days. Occasionally I'm on my back but never on my right side where my injured knee would be in direct contact with the bed. Could this consistent lack of sleep side symmetry cause a misalignment of my jaw? Possibly coincidental I realize but now whenever I yawn, my mouth gets momentarily stuck open and then abruptly pops back into place. Good times.
My three month checkup was today. Doctor Stone took a quick look at my knee and then did that now very familiar lift and tug maneuver with my lower leg, after which he commented, “That’s a perfect ACL.” Certainly there is a potential bias in his assessment but the fact is I gave up second guessing him long ago. If he says it’s perfect, that’s what I’m going with.
PT, however, well that was another story. Thor wasn’t in so I met with his female counterpart. Let’s call her Xena.
As this was my three-month visit, a sports-fitness test was on the agenda. After scribbling out a half dozen or so exercises on her clipboard, Xena had me start with "The Plank" – lie face down, feet together, hold the body off the floor, resting on the toes and the forearms with the elbows directly under the shoulders while keeping the body straight (like a plank of course). I lasted in that position just 1 minute, 26 seconds. Average at best.Second was a timed 25 rep bench squat. I had been doing these at home for a couple of weeks so I went through these pretty quickly with only a bit of pain through my knee.
Third was a timed 15 rep bench squat holding a 45-lb straight bar. Forget it. I could not do a single rep. As soon as my leg was bent more than about 20 degrees the vertical pain through my patella was instant and sharp and the message was clear – “Go any further and your next stop will be on your ass with a 45-lb bar stuck to your forehead.” Scratch that test.
Fourth was a step test – step up onto about a 12-inch block and back down. Here too my knee was useless. I could not step up with my right nor step down with my left. Again, it was the pain through the patella that would not allow me to complete the movement. At that point the entire test suite was cancelled and we went onto some reasonably aggressive and uncomfortable patellar mobilization and quad and IT band grinding and mashing.
I knew I was behind the standard recovery schedules, but still, I honestly thought I was doing pretty well. I was exercising and getting around without much trouble, and if I took just a bit off my normal pace I could finally walk without a noticeable limp. But my PT session left me soaking in a newly formed puddle of defeat and frustration. I had come to accept my struggling recovery but despite my efforts to dismiss it, the fitness testing at PT was a real confidence killer. There was only one possible cure.
When I got home I decided to that I would ride across town to a friend’s house to pick up some random articles left by my kids the last time we were there. The truth is that the idea of getting out on the bike had been rolling around in my head for weeks and the stated purpose of the errand was entirely irrelevant. The real reason to go was to see if I could actually make the 9.5 mile round trip at all. I needed another data point on my progress. I needed to assess my condition on my own terms. It would be my first time outside on a bike in nearly five months. My mind worked through various reasons to postpone the outing - too windy, too close to dark, too risky, and the like. But as part of my brain ground through the list of excuses, the rest of it continued to prepare to ride as if I had no actual choice in the matter. I checked everything on the bike twice – tire pressures, brakes, quick releases. Finally I rolled down the driveway and headed off.
Riding was initially somewhat awkward but within a few blocks I had pedaled myself into a slow rhythm. I quickly learned that pushing too hard through the downstroke on the injured side produced the same pain that I had experienced earlier in PT and that standing to pedal was entirely impossible for the same reason. With these limitations regretfully acknowledged I rode on. It was 7pm, slightly cool, with the light of the sunset just beginning to sneak into the trees on the ridgeline. The afternoon breeze had stopped entirely. Conditions were perfect. And even though I was unable to accelerate with any force, rather like a car with something stuck underneath the gas pedal, the riding itself was still amazingly empowering. Random people waved to me as if somehow they knew. There were too many of them to simply discount their unexplainable awareness of my endeavor. I waved back as if to thank them for noticing. I focused intently on every turn, on every minor change in the pavement. And I pedalled with as much force as my knee would allow. I made the trip out at a 14.4 mph average. On the return trip I pushed even harder and heaved and wheezed my way to a one-way average of 16.4 mph. Not exactly new speed records for certain, but at last some positive results. A personal victory of sorts. Of course it was a small and meaningless accomplishment in the big picture, but still, for today it was a small and meaningless accomplishment that was very much needed. My heart and soul and even my body thanked me afterward. And I quietly basked in the glory of the ride for the rest of the evening.
